Salocin

Bond : Die Another Day

The new installment is upon us, and as with most recent films, I find myself comparing my list of expectations with what really happened and asking, "is it just me"?

If Bond were as aged as his film franchise, he would be well past his use-by date as a British spy, but probably in better condition than the stories that expound his most recent achievements. It would seem that in his most recent incarnation, Bond has stolen a page from xXx, and become an extreme sports enthusiast, and now relies more on his gadgets than his wits to keep him alive.

Please attach your seatbelt, keep your hands and feet inside the cliché machine at all times and do not touch the props, as these are for product placement purposes only. Grab hold of your martini, and if you’re holding tight, we’ll run through the pre-flight checklist.

• Witty one-liners after every villain is dispatched? Check.
  
• Gadgets less believable than last time? Check.
  
• Bond girls to make your jaw drop, getting out of the water in a bikini, in slow motion. Did I mention the bikini? Check.
  
• Effete, deviant criminal mastermind with physical/psychological defect? Check.
  
• Hero challenges misguided greater authority? Check.
  
• Doomsday device? Check.
  
• World saved? Check.
  

By all accounts, it’s a Bond film. So why am I left with the impression that something is missing? We’ll get back to that later. First, what’s it all about?

The political backstory and setting, which serve more as bookends than as a backdrop to the film, is North Korea, and a 007 mission going somewhat awry. Forget that completely, because it isn’t useful until the end of the film, roll credits, and start again.

Iceland. Yes, Iceland. Probably because it has the word “Ice” in its name and this is a bit of a running theme in the film. Where was I? Oh yes, Iceland. But first, Havana. Yes, Havana. Why? Not sure really, could have been Panama, or Russia, but its cool to pick on the current President’s enemies, so there you go, Havana. Where was I?

Forget the location, it’s not important, they had to pick a hot country by the sea so Halle Berry could get out of the water in her bikini. In slow motion. Did I mention the bikini?

The reason I’m going round in circles here is that I’m trying not to give any of the little things away, because there’s no big twist to give away, and if I tell you some of the small things that you discover about the film as you watch it, you’ll find even less of a plot than I did. Although we might have to check with Heisenberg and his friend’s cat, the very small is not my domain.

What you’ll find if you watch it (which I actually do encourage you to do), is that the film, like the last few, is location-based rather than plot-based, and that the general effect is that Bond is trying to track someone down, and for some trivial reason decides Gustave Graves is the big master criminal he’s after, and after you strip out the minor references to Korean politics and conflict diamonds, what you have is an extreme sports bonanza with electronic gizmos thrown in.

So having failed to explain the film, because I can’t get a handle on what to tell you, let me switch modes: I see all these spy films tending towards exactly the same script. Whether you come from the originally understated, gentlemanly spy: Bond, or the American Superspy: Mission Impossible, or from the Extreme Sports Champion Turned Spy: xXx, all of these films are gradually homing in on the script that will best please the moviegoer of today. It’s to the extreme end of the sophistication/action tradeoff, where one-liners are used as a proxy for sophistication, and the solution to every tricky situation is to either use a gizmo, or create a surfboard out of something, pronto.

Those things that made Bond Bond cannot be ignored, and so they are present. His English sophistication is parodied to the extreme, and exposed through the lines he says after each stunt. He still goes to London, but the conversations with M are how the lever of plot development gets cranked, rather than a seamless integration with the rest of the film. It’s very much Bond on his own, and the rest of the world be damned.

So did I like it? Well, uncannily, yes. So why am I slating it? I can go watch Mission Impossible and see an extremely well made flick about a superhero spy. I can’t find the modern equivalent of Bond anywhere. So to revert to type and repeat my oft-heard diatribe, I feel that scripts and films are tending towards the point of maximum return, which is fine in business, but not good for art, because it destroys variety. If the 15-year-olds who spend the most on movies today are paying for this now, they won’t thank you in 10 years, and I’m not thanking you now. Not because it’s bad, but because I can’t find all the other stuff that used to get made, and that I miss. Does that make me old? Damn.

Oh yes - and I suddenly remember that I told you, in parentheses, that you should watch the film. It's very good fun, and now that I have done you the service of rebasing your expectations, you'll enjoy it plenty.

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Bond 20 : Die Another Day [ IMDB ]

Starring...

• Bond, James Bond
  
• Bond girl 20, but is she all she seems?
  
• Rosamund Pike is lovely
  
• Cookie Cutter Criminal
  
• "Expensive Acne"
  

Traliers [ Hi Res | Med Res | Lo Res ]

Posted by nlvp at November 25, 2002 03:36 AM